Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Woman`s work (first draft)

                                                             Woman`s Work
    Woman is the second half of society. Without woman there is no society so,we must give her right to work.Woman`s work is a very argumentative topic that attracts the attention of people.Some people say that woman can work and others say that woman can not work.From my point of view that woman can work if her abilities enable her to work.
     Some people say that woman has the right to work and achieve her goals in the practical life. Woman wants to work in order to develope herself.She wants to buy everything she wants.She wants to raise her social position in society. She wants to help her children live in a high standard of living.She wants to help her husband financialy.
     There are some old beliefs that woman has no weight in society and man is the dominant member in society.Some people think that woman is created only to take care of her family.They think that woman does not have the right to work.Woman only must take care of her husband and her children.
     In fact,I think that woman plays a supplementary role in society.Woman and man should co-operate with each other to improve their life.Man should respect his wife and gives her right to work and to achieve her success in her life.Moreover,woman should respect her husband and gives him all his rights.woman can work and in the same time she should take care of her family.
     finally,man and woman are two faces of one coin so,they must co-operate with each other to develope their life.Woman must take her right to work if she can work.Woman must know her duties and her rights.

5 comments:

  1. Hi ayman,your draft is good,the idea is clear and your point of view is clear.
    Good Luck.

    ReplyDelete
  2. it is good topic
    you express about your point of view by simple usage of words and idea, but in this paragraph you repeats (she wants) too much, it me feel boring from this so try to change it.

    Some people say that woman has the right to work and achieve her goals in the practical life. Woman wants to work in order to develope herself.She wants to buy everything she wants.She wants to raise her social position in society. She wants to help her children live in a high standard of living.She wants to help her husband financialy.

    capital in last paragraph (finally)
    at the end it is agood topic with expressive words and ideas

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your essay is very simple and clear. It is well organized but you have to take care of:

    1. we must give her (her)right to work.
    2. I agree with Sara that you repeated "she wants" very much, I think you have to use different words or different structures.
    3.

    ReplyDelete
  4. hi ayman.your essay is very simple and clear .your introduction is very interesting and your essay is well organized .but you need to use more evidences or reasons to suuport your opinion.good jop ayman and keep working

    ReplyDelete
  5. your essay is good well done ayman but you should improve your ideas and use different words

    ReplyDelete